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Because whether you're innocently smiling while you hop in your underwear or climbing a sleazy juice-bar's pole with your vagina, if you're an Asian teenager, perverted old men are going gay sucking techniques 69 like it. Each strip-showdown lasts until someone loses five times.

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By that time, it's either game over, or you're watching a prancing nude girl spread the spirit of friendship with her smile and exposed nipples. The Yakyuken Special is unleashed! Unfortunately, this game cheats. I swear it fucking cheats.

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Statistically, in Rock-Paper-Scissors, you should win about half the games. Here you maybe win one out of every 50 games. Gay sucking techniques 69 you gay sucking techniques 69 to spend the time and effort required to get a girl in this game to adorably peel her panties off, you probably could have gotten laid 30 to 40 times by actual women. The Yakyuken Special is like buying a stack of porno and only letting yourself read it if you can call a coin-flip 50 times in a row.

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That being said, believe this: You can lose at this game for 10 hours and spend each minute of it happy. For censorship reasons, all trchniques referred to in this particular review have had their original names replaced with the name of gay sucking techniques 69 vehicle.

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With your Gigolo game cartridge and a little imagination, you and your Atari could go on an exciting ride into the world of street prostitution. The object of the game is to go from door to door and hump any men you find inside. When you find a customer, the game switches to an action sequence of you riding his throbbing Dune Buggy in his unfurnished apartment. Press the joystick up to shift your Hovercraft to the tip of his Fire Truck, then press the joystick down to slide your Rollerskate back down to the base of his Speedboat.

You receive one dollar for each of these successful humps. When the John is finished with you, you'll know, because he'll kick your cheap Dirtbike out onto the sidewalk. It's then up to you have to navigate through the empty streets and return the money gay country western bars in ohio your pimp's walk-up window.

The only gay sucking techniques 69 challenge of the game comes from the fact that many random houses gay sucking techniques 69 people unwilling to solicit a prostitute, and they will throw you gay sucking techniques 69 the street and call the police.

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You'll run through these pretty quickly since you can't know if anyone's interested in the affordable treats in your pants until you barge right into their house and whip out your Zambonie.

As you can see, this customer has spent so much of his money on your Big Wheel that he couldn't afford zucking bed.

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That means that if you're unlucky, a lot of games of Gigolo end without even one opportunity to sell your sweet Rocket Ship. You won't gay sucking techniques 69 losing, though; since controlling the stroking of someone's Bobsled in and out of your Forklift isn't much of a reward. Cho Aniki is a cross between Gradius and lubricated men having sex with each other.

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You start the game as a nine-story flying man in a Speedo firing lasers out of your viking hat, and yes you read the beginning of this sentence correctly.

The main boss gay sucking techniques 69 a pyramid of men in bikinis launching Skittles out of their 96. After a few minutes of this, you are transported to a dimension of pure homoerotica.

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